I want to start knitting a new hat, but all I seem to have energy for lately are these bows that I stuff and mount on either barrettes or headbands. IDK, I just feel so depressed all the time. I keep thinking that if I make it clear enough times that I'm needing somebody to care, that one of my friends or family will care. It doesn't work.

It never works.

So either they are so self-centered they don't notice, or they are such terrible people that they do notice but they just don't care. I always say, "This is it, I'm tired of being treated this way. I'm through doing things for them. Next time one of them asks me to do something, I'm saying NO!" However, it never works out that way. I have the hardest time saying "no". I always feel obligated to do what my friends or family wants me to do, and that's another part of the reason I'm always so miserable. Because I give give give, but all they do is take. I feel so empty now, as if I have nothing left to give. I just want to sleep. I want to escape. This world is ugly and hateful. Why can't everyone just be kind???